by Camilla Rae, Certified Postpartum Doula, Sleep Consultant

As new parents, having your baby "sleeping through the night" often becomes a pinnacle of achievement to which we aspire (on our baby’s behalf) in the early months. It makes sense that it holds so much allure since once our baby is sleeping more and possibly longer stretches at night, we can finally get the rest we so need. But what does sleeping through the night actually mean? And is it a realistic expectation for infants?

What does sleeping through the night mean?

To start, let's define what it means when babies start sleeping through the night. For adults, sleeping through the night typically means sleeping for a solid 8 hours without interruption. But for infants, "sleeping through the night" means something entirely different - and it’s something that changes with your baby’s development. For newborns, it may mean being able to sleep for a 4-hour stretch, while for a 6-month-old, it could mean they begin to sleep for 6 hours. It's not until around 10 to 16 months of age that a baby can begin to be developmentally able to sleep for longer stretches, up to 8-13 hours at a time.

Why does sleeping through the night look so different for infants?

Infants have shorter sleep cycles than adults. They also need to wake up more frequently for feedings. This is especially true for babies who are breast/chest fed: human milk is less calorie-dense than formula, so breastfed babies may burn through the available calories in a shorter amount of time and need to eat more frequently. Additionally, infants have a strong need for physical contact and emotional connection with their primary caregivers; night wakings and feedings are designed to meet these needs. These little soirées also provide necessary bonding and socio-emotional development for infants: studies have shown that infants who have more skin-to-skin contact with their parents, especially a nursing parent, in the first weeks and months of life have better emotional regulation and better lifelong sleep habits.

Newborn sleep

During the first few weeks of life, newborns typically sleep for short periods of time, anywhere from 16 to 18 hours in a 24-hour period. They may wake up every 2 to 4 hours to eat, which can be challenging for parents who are still recovering from birth and adjusting to life with a new baby.

Infant sleep

As infants grow, their sleep foundations begin to change. Around 2-3 months of age, many babies start to develop more consistent sleep patterns and start sleeping for longer stretches at night. For example, a 3-month-old baby may sleep for a 5-6 hour stretch at night without waking.

By 6 months of age, some babies will have dropped their night feeds and will be sleeping for 6-10 hours straight at night. At this stage, it is still very normal for many babies to wake up one or two times to feed.

Sleep at the end of the first year

As babies approach the first year, their sleep patterns begin to resemble those of adults more closely. They may sleep for 8-13 hours at night. However, some babies may continue to wake up once at night for a feed or comfort until they are closer to their first birthday.

You may notice, as you incorporate more solid foods, as your baby becomes more mobile, and as your baby experiences additional mental and emotional development, that their sleep needs may change, along with their sleep schedule.

It's important to note that these are general trends, and every baby is different. Some babies may sleep longer or shorter stretches than others at any given age. Also, some babies may develop a consistent sleep pattern and ability to sleep through the night without waking earlier or later than others.

Adapting and flexing to meet your baby's developmental needs

It's normal to struggle with being sleep-deprived in your baby’s infancy; infants have different sleep needs and patterns than what is normal and nourishing for us as adults. However hard it may be, though, it can help to recognize that frequent night wakings are a normal and necessary part of infant development. With that recognition, you can decrease focus on “sleeping through the night” (which may be an unrealistic goal for infant sleep at a given stage). This can leave you space to instead prepare and resource yourself for the sleep challenges of early parenthood, and focus on meeting your baby's age-appropriate needs for feeding, contact, and comfort.

As postpartum doulas, we talk with clients about “the tunnel” of the early postpartum period - parenting a new baby is hard, and sleep deprivation is no joke! If you find that your lack of sleep is becoming overwhelming at any stage, seeking support from sleep consultants and overnight doulas can be helpful in establishing healthy sleep habits for both you and your baby, can help you to feel supported and less alone, and can help you leverage opportunities to get good sleep and to rest and recharge.

• In the Portland, OR area, one of Bridgetown Baby’s professional postpartum doulas can offer an ‘emergency sleep break’ to give you a nighttime sleep reset, or our Family Care team can help to build a schedule that provides you periodic sleep support to get through the rough spots until you get your baby to sleep at night.
  

• Sleep consultants can provide you with in-person or virtual/remote help. Bridgetown Baby recommends:

• Full Circle Sleep

• Slumber Time Solutions

• Sleep in the City

Coming to understand, and then working to meet, your child’s developmental needs is an ongoing learning curve - and it can feel especially steep when you’re sleep deprived. So, in this as in many aspects of parenting: give yourself grace even if your baby doesn't sleep longer stretches at night; trust that responding to your baby’s needs now will pay off in the long run; remember that there are resources to support you so you can get uninterrupted sleep; and know that this, too, shall pass.

Camilla Rae is the co-founder of Full Circle Sleep. As a birth doula, postpartum doula, newborn care specialist, and certified lactation counselor, she brings years of experience and insights to her work with families. Full Circle Sleep offers a discount to Bridgetown Baby families! Learn more and get sleep support here.